Because so many people know that I homeschool, I get asked all kinds of questions — and I love answering them, though sometimes I have to go home and research first. Here's one I had to learn more about myself.
Deschooling is the transition period for a child leaving a structured institution of learning — like a public or private school — and changing to a more relaxed form of schooling at home. This transition doesn't only affect the child; parents can go through it too. I haven't personally gone through deschooling, but I have many friends who have, and between what they've shared and what I've researched, here's what I want you to know.
In this guide
What deschooling really is
This transition period can be a difficult and confusing time for both you and your child. A child who's been in a public or private school setting has learned what happens there and what's expected of them. But coming home for school, your child may not be sure what will happen or what's expected — and during this time, you and your child are both discovering your new normal together.
It all boils down to patience and understanding, for you and your child. This transition won't happen overnight; you'll hit a few rough patches along the way, but it won't be like this forever. Once you and your child find your new normal together, things move much more smoothly.
How long should I deschool?
There's no set amount of time it will take. The longer your child was in a public or private school, the longer it will usually take them to adjust to a more relaxed form of schooling at home. If you see your child struggling from the lack of their old structure, try adding some fun learning activities — go on an educational field trip, play an educational game, or add a few engaging lessons during this time.
Quick tip
Deschooling isn't "doing nothing." It's gently rebuilding your child's love of learning — often through play, books, and real-life experiences — before you settle into a formal routine.
10 tips to help you start deschooling
- Be upfront and honest with your child. Help them understand there will be a transition period for both of you, and that you'll be learning how to homeschool together.
- Find other homeschoolers in your area. Most areas have a homeschool group with parties, field trips, and park days. You can find these on Facebook, by asking other homeschool moms, or by asking at your local library.
- Go on field trips. Field trips are one of my favorite parts of homeschooling, and they don't have to cost an arm and a leg. Ideas include museums (many offer homeschool rates on weekdays), the public library, the post office, police and fire departments, city hall, virtual tours, the zoo, nature parks, aquariums, government buildings, historic places, and military landmarks.
- Be creative. Write a story and draw a picture about it, build something, make something, or paint. This should be a fun time.
- Read together. Find a comfortable spot and a great book and read aloud — you don't have to finish it in one day; spread it out over a week or so.
- Check out your local library and its programs. Libraries are so much more than books — ours offers preschool story time, activities for school-age children, and a summer reading program.
- Explore the outdoors. Enjoy your local park, have a picnic, visit a nature park, draw in the backyard, notice the different trees and flowers, or go for a walk or hike.
- Spend time learning your child's learning process. Make notes of their strengths and weaknesses — which subjects come naturally and which are a struggle — then think about which homeschooling style would fit and order a curriculum that suits your child and your family.
- Watch educational videos. YouTube can be a great resource, with videos on nearly every subject. (You can even find our science experiment videos on the Russells Loving Life YouTube channel.)
- Give it grace and time. Above all, be patient — with your child and with yourself. The new normal comes, one gentle day at a time.
Where did the term "deschooling" come from?
The term "deschooling" is mainly credited to Ivan Illich, who believed traditional schooling needed to be rethought — that schools placed too much emphasis on grades and accreditation rather than genuine skills and the needs of the child. The educator John Holt shared closely aligned views: that school was not the sole avenue for learning, since children learn constantly through other means, such as exposure to the natural world. Illich coined "deschooling," and Holt later began using the term "unschooling" to describe his educational beliefs. Importantly, deschooling doesn't mean disregarding learning — it means giving families the freedom to choose how they learn.
Frequently asked questions
What is deschooling in homeschooling?
Deschooling is the transition period when a child leaves a structured school and adjusts to more relaxed learning at home. It affects both children and parents as they discover a new normal together.
How long does deschooling take?
There's no set time. Generally, the longer a child was in traditional school, the longer the adjustment. If they're struggling, ease in with fun, engaging learning activities.
Is deschooling the same as unschooling?
No. Deschooling is a temporary transition period. Unschooling is an ongoing, interest-led approach to homeschooling. (Ivan Illich coined "deschooling," and John Holt later used "unschooling.")
Give everyone room to breathe
If your child is coming out of a classroom, a season of deschooling is a gift — to them and to you. Be honest, be patient, lean on your community, and let curiosity lead for a while. When you're ready to settle into a routine, see How to Homeschool in 4 Easy Steps, and grab the free starter checklist below.
Free homeschool starter checklist
A simple one-page checklist to ease into homeschooling with confidence.
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